Kinda worried?

Gosh recently life has been absolutely crazy recently & I always feel like my heart may burn anytime in Singapore's fast-paced lifestyle. I just never felt truly happy unless I feel free & be myself. I just know I don't really enjoy time spent with family & I'm such an awkward bitch even with close friends. I cannot relate to the bestie concept & hardly feel...natural with people? Despite my piano teaching being a technical skill aka people job, I always feel...I mildly dislike my students????

For me, everytime I love someone, I just hate that someone also. Life is such an oxymoron for me. I guess I truly feel myself when I spend time with myself. My grandmother - whom I stopped being so closed to - may depart from life with cancer. Extremely surprising, I feel most for her and my darling pet cat!

The other day, I was just thinking about my piano music. And I truly love ballads, whether Western, Chinese or Japanese. Slow pieces - obviously not tooo slow though - bring out the sadness in my heart, but I just feel happier & free-er after every slow piece!

If there is one change in me - I guess it is reasonable to conclude that I stopped loving humans! Dear dear, I find many values truly silly for a longgg time. I feel this deep sense of connection with myself, animals & I just hope to relax, take care of my body, and - hope my grandma, animals & all of you reading this blog can be safe, happy & peace out!

Damn I am Soooo Overstimulated from today's crazzzyyy activities I swear I need to tone out...