Ego

Today was supposed to be an average day for me, running my usual chores & teaching students here-and-there. But, I just feel, like I discovered something!

I think I finally understood why students can suffer from poor practice schedule, stunned technique growth & years of ridiculous musical errors - despite being told the pathway to excellence.

It is definitely - EGO.

My choir friend once told me that I have zero ego. That was back in my teenage years. I thought I was a quick learner - with photographic memory & a likable personality. Turns out the secret to my success (at least years ago) - was due to myself having no ego!

Damn - recently I think I developed some ego, known as The Teacher's Ego.

SHIT!!! I feel like I am right, I feel like I deserve to comment on certain people's certain behaviour because I feel like I know better. But do I really? I doubt I truly know better. I think I am blinded by my own ego!

SHIT SHIT SHIT time to kill my fucking EGO! I give myself one month! If I still have any ounce of ego by the end of April, I WILL FUCK YOU ALL!

Hi guys! I am in the Arctic region now! With the reindeers, huskies, snow & extreme -ve temperatures!

Nights are long, days are short. Weather is crazy - and I finally closed lots of episodes in my mind after years of push-and-pull.

I finally understood why other countries/regions can have such creative individuals in the Arts - simply because of their environment, in terms of nature. I don't really know how to put it across to you guys, I guess you can sense the souls in the frozen lakes lol?

My hands cracked in the snow and were on the verge of bleeding - but I still loved the snow. It gives a feeling of... basically I don't feel so angry anymore lol...

I didn't buy any reindeer skin ah!! Just like how you all shouldn't photocopy music sheets illegally to mass-produce ah!! Not me hor... I didn't even eat the reindeer meat provided ok. But I kept drinking their blueberry juice on the plane HAHAHA it is free!!!!

Settling in Musically...

Musically, I feel that I have finally settled down to a few genres that I am fully comfortable in. Teaching-wise, I guess I know my "type" of students that I would like... Most importantly, I think I have this formula lol...

I remember being a busy bee throughout my entire life - switching from method A to B, and then back to A again. I tried to do too many things, both pianistically and non-pianistically. I still love the fun of everything though, especially...well many other things. But, do you feel particularly secure when you just know yourself, your audience, your not-preferred audience & your... taste?

I think I will continue to nail classical... & probably already nailed C-pop?

My targeted students shall be stave Sight-Readers, most probably classical piano touch, aiming for ABRSM exams.

Weirdly, I truly miss my messy years, I did stupid things & over-dramatized my music, but, it was fun!

One thing I want for myself pianistically? A really atas piano. Even more atas than what I have right now. Good things are expensive & I feel...really sad about this fact. I can do way better.

Well, sighs... off to shake my ass.. thanks for reading!