In my teenage years, I did long-distant running to gush out my monster, but now in my mid-30s, my knees sort of hurt & it is damn embarrassing to admit I can't really feel my lower-half? As in... I constantly feel numb... Bloody idiot, I should have gone for marathons when I was young & fit What Was I Doing?!!
Dance feels amazing on me & I've never felt gorgeous if not for dance but at the same time, dance also drains me so much I feel like I need to be some cool kid. Obviously, I am pretty cool. But the pressure to perform?! Even piano never made me felt pressurized simply because the piano tone is ever-beautiful.
I've been on this Blog since my pre-teen years! Before the entire social media blowup, I was already here using mountains of vulgarities, innocently of course, happily announcing to the whole world my daily amusement. I've deleted so many posts off this Blog that I wonder if I ever blogged. Actually, what made me delete my old posts? I don't judge my own horrendous past!
Feeling sad that I only treasure my Blog after so many years. Parallel to how I looked back & reconnected with some old friends/neighbors/students & instead of feeling happy, I feel awkward??!! I'm such a weird bitch I swear I have always been autistic but never diagnosed.
Whatever monster in me - let me blog it out. I don't need to be married I swear I hate all men. I don't need to be rich I truly have passions. I don't need to be so pretty I think I'm mild gorgeous already? Just allow me to Blog My Heart Out. My language may ruin your soul. My stories may make you lose respect for me. My thoughts may be extremely offensive.
And this is why I need to blog. I have this blog. I must must must blog.
Friends, join me here?
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