Saturday, December 20, 2025

Suddenly Wrecked Tonight

Just finished practicing on my grand piano and feeling slightly wrecked tonight. I played Arabesque No. 1 in E major by Debussy & 6 C-pop pieces from my uncle's piano book. I repeated my practice and rotated it a couple of times.

I have no issue with my practice tonight, I know I did beautiful - But emotionally, I feel wrecked and crashed.

My menses is just over, or it could be the coffee.

I don't know... I feel my re-arrangement of one C-pop piece felt just-nice but this perfection sort of scares me. Usually, I feel relaxed on the piano but tonight was just weird....

Even my all time favourite Debussy piece turns out damn smooth but I feel I should be upset that my music is soooo amazing?! Yet I wish I could be even more even for my triplets.

I could connect to my fingers and technique but why am I feeling unsettled instead of my usual proud-of-myself moment?!!!

Damn it... I think I matured againnnnn but I swear I just want to relax on the piano, just like my dance and yoga!

I swear it's my collagen injection.... it's messing with my brain.

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