Keeping to the Piano

I did not enjoy the piano when I started piano lessons - not by choice - when I was 5 or 6 years old. My family from China (GZ & SZ) just migrated to Singapore and my parents wanted me to have a hobby. Back in the 1990s, the typical Ballet + Piano combo was very popular for girls while boy mums preferred the Sports + Violin combo.

Allow me to rephrase. I did not - not enjoy the piano. Rather, I was fearful of it because I was very shy when I was young. My teacher was ok to me and I was ok towards her. There is no teacher problem.

I started enjoying the piano when I worked as my school choir's pianist. I felt validated, musically. I felt comfortable - being able to sit while everyone had to stand. I felt safe - keeping to my long-term skill.

It was after my JC years that I slowly drifted away from the piano, entering my Street Dance era. I would spend hours away from the piano, participating in dance classes, rehearsals, stage blocking... I remember only touching the piano when I taught a number of students during the weekend. These were questionable years in my early 20s. Till today, I truly regret not paying more attention to the piano, especially in my hot-headed 20s (I am still hot-headed now, but way more logical and articulated, aka not a softie).

I came back to the piano when I was about to enter my 30s. My mother's push for me to complete the FRSM was my biggest motivator to practice. Seeing the extended repertoire made me understand the vast depth of the piano world and how small Grade 1 to 8 felt...

I spent years in other jobs - modelling, influencing, accounting, serving...

But I feel... I want to do piano. I want to play it... It is like a very old and close friend. There is no societal, parental or gender pressure. The piano feels... like a very warm cup of water. It doesn't judge. I can hear the piano keys' sounds in my head.

I don't feel the need to please anyone.... or lie... or suck my way up. I don't want to.

I'm happy with the piano. I'm ok to branch out and up.... but I feel... ok lah (Singaporean lol) -- with the piano.