Keeping to the Piano

I did not enjoy the piano when I started piano lessons - not by choice - when I was 5 or 6 years old. My family from China (GZ & SZ) just migrated to Singapore and my parents wanted me to have a hobby. Back in the 1990s, the typical Ballet + Piano combo was very popular for girls while boy mums preferred the Sports + Violin combo.

Allow me to rephrase. I did not - not enjoy the piano. Rather, I was fearful of it because I was very shy when I was young. My teacher was ok to me and I was ok towards her. There has never been any teacher problem for my piano journey.

I started enjoying the piano when I worked as my school choir's pianist. I felt validated - musically. I felt physically comfortable - being able to sit while everyone had to stand. I felt safe - keeping to my long-term skill.

It was after my JC years that I slowly drifted from the piano, entering my Street Dance and Money Making era. I would spend hours away from the piano, participating in dance classes, rehearsals, stage blocking, photoshoots, advertorials ... I remember only touching the piano when I taught a number of students during the weekend. Those were questionable years in my early 20s. I made questionable decisions and even more questionable friends. Till today, I truly regret not paying more attention to the piano and just discarding it to one side. If only I stayed friends with the piano, I know I would not be so hot-headed. Then again, I am still hot-headed now, but way more logical and articulated. At least if I am rude now, it is for the right reason and I can articulate why I am right, accurately.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

I came back to the piano when I was about to enter my 30s. My mother's push for me to complete the FRSM was my biggest motivator to practice. Seeing the extended repertoire made me understand the vast depth of the piano world and how small Grade 1 to 8 felt...

I spent years exploring sooo many things...

But I feel... I want to do piano. I want to play it... It is like a very old and close friend. There is no societal, parental or gender pressure. The piano feels... like a very warm cup of water. It doesn't judge. I can hear the piano keys' sounds in my head.

I don't feel the need to please anyone.... or lie... or suck my way up. I don't want to.

I'm happy with the piano. I'm ok to branch out and up.... but I feel... ok lah (Singaporean lol) -- with the piano.